Borgnine, 90, Stars in Christmas Movie

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies, Christmas News

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Ernest Borgnine could be taking it easy at 90, resting on laurels that include an Academy Award. But this year alone, he has made four made-for-TV or feature films — plus, his voiceover work as Mermaid Man on the animated hit “SpongeBob SquarePants.”

The best-actor winner for the 1955 movie “Marty” believes “the best medicine for a man my age is to keep working.”

Borgnine’s latest role is in “A Grandpa for Christmas,” airing Saturday on the Hallmark Channel and co-starring Jamie Farr and Katherine Helmond.

He plays a song-and-dance man who must care for a 9-year-old granddaughter he never knew he had after his estranged daughter is seriously injured in a car accident.

The movie brought back a favorite Christmas memory from Borgnine’s childhood: Money was tight, so he and his sister knew their only gifts would be handmade by their mother; just before the holiday, a man who had owed Borgnine’s father money for a long time repaid him the $14.

“My father could have bought so many things with that money back then,” Borgnine said in statement from Hallmark Channel. “On Christmas morning my sister and I woke up and went downstairs to empty our stockings. I thought all they would have in them was the usual nuts and fruit, but in the bottom of each sock was $7. My mother and father were crying because they were so happy that we were happy. I never forgot that day.”

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Fred Claus Panned

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter)- With Santa Claus movies like “Fred Claus,” who needs Ebenezer Scrooge?

Even more confounding than this mirthless, misanthropic mess is the involvement of such talented people as Vince Vaughn, Paul Giamatti, Miranda Richardson, Rachel Weisz, Kathy Bates and Kevin Spacey. Holiday films invariably perform well opening week, and the reunion of Vaughn with his “Wedding Crashers” director, David Dobkin, should give Warner Bros. a momentary holiday lift. It might not last long, though. One additional problem: Family films should not clock in at 115 minutes.

The gimmick in Dan Fogelman’s screenplay (with story credit shared with co-producer Jessie Nelson) is that Santa (Giamatti) has a disgruntled older brother, long on the losing end of a sibling rivalry. So it’s “The Odd Couple” with a Christmas backdrop as Fred Claus (Vaughn) is his brother’s polar opposite: Santa gives; Fred, a repo man, takes away. Santa is cheerful; Fred hates the world.

Needing a chunk of change from Santa to get out of jail and start another get-rich-quick scheme, Fred agrees to visit the North Pole to work in his brother’s workshop. His arrival nearly destroys Christmas.

Production designer Allan Cameron’s North Pole set is the usual candy-cane concoction of an Alpine shopping mall on crack, but its denizens are a cheerless lot. Exactly how many dark personalities can a Christmas movie contain?

Let’s see, there’s Fred, of course, but he’s the life of the party compared to Spacey’s efficiency expert. The guy wants to fire Santa and outsource Christmas to the South Pole. Wearing dark-rimmed glasses and a suit so he looks like a demented Jack Benny, Spacey is one of many dark clouds.

Mrs. Claus (Richardson) barely tolerates Fred, Fred’s own mother (Bates) only finds fault with him, his fiancee (Weisz) is on the verge of leaving him, and even Santa loses his temper and fights with his brother.

Nearly every actor seems miscast. Vaughn looks like he wondered in from another movie. Giamatti gets lost in his fat suit. Richardson has nothing to do but frown. Neither Weisz nor Bates can get any purchase on her character. And Spacey plays the only note given him.

The film isn’t just not funny, it is off-putting. Some of the elves are played by little people, but others including John Michael Higgins and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges are regular-sized actors who are shrunk though visual effects. Nothing is stranger though than a superfluous scene in which Fred attends a Brothers Anonymous meeting where Frank Stallone, Roger Clinton and Stephen Baldwin share their angst over having famous brothers. Who thought that was a funny idea?

The Claus family confrontations are poorly written, the occasional slapstick action is weakly executed — these look like warmed-over leftovers from Disney’s “The Santa Clause” series — and below-the-line contributions surprisingly mediocre for a Joel Silver production.

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Movie Review: Stalking Santa

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies

image016_001.jpgOver the years, there have been mockumentaries about practically every subject under the sun, including rap music (CB4), beloved sci-fi characters (R2-D2: Beneath the Dome) and fake has-been TV personalities (Lisa Kudrow’s HBO series The Comeback).

Now we have a mockumentary just in time or the upcoming holidays. Stalking Santa documents a man’s single-minded quest to prove the existence of the great Christmas icon, Santa Claus.

A self-proclaimed “santalogist,” Dr. Lloyd Darrow (Chris Clark), together with his intrepid intern Clarence (Daryn Tufts), have compiled a pretty convincing portfolio of evidence that might just prove that jolly old St. Nick exists. From crash site photos of dead elves from Roswell, NM to Egyptian hieroglyphics depicting a red and white-draped man behind what looks like a sleigh, Stalking Santa goes about laying out all the incriminating evidence from various sources that only hardens Darrow’s resolve to get to the bottom of the Santa Claus cover-up.

Did I just say cover-up?

Yes, according to this film, there is a far-ranging conspiracy among retailers and manufacturers to convince everyone that Santa Claus is only a myth. If Santa were proven to be real, then the entire multi billion-dollar holiday retail industry would collapse, irreparably damaging the country’s economy. Who needs to buy presents when Santa brings them right to your home for free, right? This ultimate retailer’s nightmare theory comes to light in a secret meeting that Darrow has with an unidentified insider–known here only as Deep Snow (as opposed to Deep Throat, get it?).

With all these mounting evidence to back him up, Darrow’s final mission now is to prove his theory right by rigging various sensor-sensitive instruments to the chimney of his home and hopefully capture actual video footage of Santa caught, no doubt, with his hands on the cookie plate. You got it–it’s the Christmas Eve experiment to end all experiments. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Stalking Santa actually starts off on a serious tone, with interviews with various children about their own theories on Santa Claus. Not knowing that this was actually a mockumentary comedy film at first, it had me fooled into believing that this was maybe a serious documentary about Christmas. Only when the film started showing funny Santa-themed “artifacts” from various cultures, did I sheepishly catch on. Narrated by none other than William Shatner–his deadpan delivery so appropriate and funny for this type of movie–Stalking Santa is able to put forward some outrageous and ultimately hilarious theories about the existence of Santa Claus that it surprised me why no one had come up with this before. When Darrow is shown stalking a little person, believing that he is really an elf in disguise, compiling the naughty and nice list, I was totally shocked at how funny this film really is, even as it tries to come across as an entirely serious enterprise. And that is exactly the whole point of this movie. Putting on a straight face the entire time, Stalking Santa invites the audience at laugh at its characters’ naivety, particularly at Darrow’s total lack of comprehension as to why his children are made fun of in school and why a bunch of local radio hosts can’t muffle their laughs while conducting an interview with him. To that end, this film is a resounding success.

Together with Lisa Clark, who plays Darrow’s long-suffering but supportive wife Barbara, Chris Clark and Daryn Tufts provides Stalking Santa with a great cast of characters that would have anyone truly believe in their hapless crusade and is able to reel in the audience, hook, line and sinker. Chris Clark and Tufts play off each other so well, I can’t think of a better combination for this film. Tufts plays his character like the loyal drone mouse to Clark’s Pied Piper. Simply put, Clarence would undoubtedly follow Darrow to the ends of the Earth but would ultimately have no clue why he made the journey in the first place. In the context of this film, these two guys are the perfect foil for one another.

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The House Without a Christmas Tree on DVD

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies, Christmas TV

hwact-cov.jpgIn the 1972 television movie The House Without a Christmas Tree, Jason Robards plays James Mills, a grumpy, reticent widower who makes a conscious decision to be owner of the title’s tree-less home. Naturally, this decision does not please Addie Mills (Lisa Lucas), his ten-year-old daughter.

The year is 1946, the place is the small (fictional) town of Clear River, Nebraska, and the word that immediately comes to mind in describing House Without a Christmas Tree is “simple.” There is simplicity to be found in the story, the staging, the style, and the setting.

The lack of ostentation has doubtlessly contributed to the movie’s reputation among those who have seen it and remember it with the utmost fondness. It also probably accounts for why the movie’s fanbase is a passionate but small one. A movie like this doesn’t hit you with a hard sell, lend itself to workplace talk, or even demand viewing outside of the holiday season. But if most TV movies are meant for mindless consumption and subsequent disposal, there is something about House that makes it stand out and endure. While the majority of TV movies have gone unreleased on DVD, House not only makes it format debut next week, it does so to fanfare that is 100% organic. Instead of a promotional campaign, word of mouth and memory-triggering are responsible for the detectable buzz which is sure to thrust this little 35-year-old movie into the top hundred sellers at Amazon.com by Tuesday among commercial blockbusters like Transformers and Shrek the Third.

The Mills Family is not especially impoverished and they’re not bad people. But the idea of seeing a Christmas tree in the house is too much for James to handle. Though it’s been nearly ten years since his wife died, the pieces of him that went with her still haven’t healed. In fact, he’s remained reluctant to warm to Addie for the reminder she serves of her mother. Addie herself (Lisa Lucas) isn’t doing as poorly. Having hardly known her mother, her biggest problem is having a father she doubts loves her, but her Grandma (Mildred Natwick) is there to tell her otherwise.

Addie may forget to say “please”, eat with her elbows on the table, pass negative judgment on some of her classmates and get into the occasional schoolhouse scuffle, but she’s a good, intelligent girl and one who would be even more in the Christmas spirit with a little Tannenbaum action. Her desire for a Christmas tree isn’t overplayed, but it really forms the gist of the plot. Though the movie first aired in a 90-minute slot, it runs a full 75 without commercials and there’s definitely room for more story. By today’s standards, especially, the proceedings seem fairly slight.

There are a few gentle subplots to occupy our attentions. Addie prepares for playing an angel in her school’s Christmas play. She uses the betting tips her father has imparted in her to beat out a fellow classmate for ownership of the classroom’s Christmas tree. (Occurring a little more than halfway into the proceedings, it’s crystal-clear that this victory won’t reverse the title, though how that happens is unexpected and pretty unbelievable.) Addie and a handful of other girls pick out a class gift for their beloved teacher Miss Thompson (Kathryn Walker).

Outside of some mentions of the cost of things, there is not a great deal to establish the setting of post-WWII small-town America. The simple set design and single wood-filled classroom feel like they could be, like the low-grade video, merely the product of a small budget. It seems quite clear to me that if anyone’s citing nostalgic value of the movie (and many are), it is because they fondly recall TV movies of the early ’70s and not a 1940s childhood. That’s plenty fine and recognizing the modest origins — an inexpensive Monday night telemovie in the days of three networks — is both essential to appreciating the movie and likely to enhance its appeal.

Paul Bogart was nominated for a Director’s Guild Award for House Without a Christmas Tree, but he wound up losing to Lamont Johnson for That Certain Summer, an ABC movie (starring Hal Holbrook, Martin Sheen, and Joe Don Baker) about a teenager coping with his divorced father’s homosexuality. Bogart would win multiple DGAs and Emmys for his behind-the-camera work on “All in the Family” and “The Golden Girls.”

In a movie where acting is spotty and often weak, Jason Robards gives a great understated performance that really makes the movie what it is.

A film veteran and Emmy winner beforehand, Robards would go onto win back-to-back Supporting Actor Oscars later in the ’70s in addition to receiving numerous other nominations. As his relatives, Lisa Lucas brings a realism as an ordinary girl with a flair for using newly-learned words and Mildred Natwick adds grandmotherly heart to the proceedings. The movie is noteworthy for marking the first credit for Alexa Kenin, playing Addie’s best friend Carla Mae; Kenin would star in a host of ABC Afterschool Specials and appear prominently in Pretty in Pink before dying prematurely due to still-shrouded circumstances.

The House Without a Christmas Tree was the first of four ABC TV movies featuring Robards, Lucas, and Natwick as the Mills family. The following November brought The Thanksgiving Treasure, the spring of 1975 debuted The Easter Promise, and the series came to a close with the Valentine’s Day-themed Addie and the King of Hearts in 1976. Each was based on a story by a woman named Gail Rock. The first three came to VHS from 20th Century Fox and later Paramount. However, Tuesday’s release of Christmas marks the series’ debut on DVD.

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Christmas in Wonderland Preview

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies

Here it is, for what it is worth (and it appears not much) — the official online preview of Christmas in Wonderland, starring Patrick Swayze, Carmen Electra and Tim Curry (the casting should tip you off to the quality of this production):

This will be in theaters November 30th and out of theaters before you know it.

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Santa Claus: Gladiator

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies

From Variety comes movie news about an upcoming Santa flick that will be sure to raise eyebrows:

Hollywood Gang Prods is dreaming of a violent Christmas. Production shingle has optioned rights to graphic novel “The Last Christmas” from Image Comics.

Written by Brian Posehn and Gerry Duggan, the novel revolves around Santa Claus, who turns his back on Christmas and goes into seclusion after nuclear war has destroyed the world. When the North Pole gets attacked, Santa must battle zombies and renegades to save the remaining survivors, and ultimately, the holiday.

Hollywood Gang partner Craig J. Flores will exec produce the project.

Shingle’s Gianni Nunnari was a producer on Warner Bros.’ “300.”

In addition to “Christmas,” Hollywood Gang is also developing the graphic novels “Ocean,” by Warren Ellis, and Frank Miller’s “Ronin,” as well as a remake of 1978 pic “The Wild Geese,” based on Daniel Carney’s unpublished novel “The Thin White Line,” with Rupert Sanders attached to direct.

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Christmas Time In South Park

Written by Christmas Movie Critic. Filed under Christmas Movies, Christmas TV

southpark_christmastimeinsp.jpg

You might want to bar the kids from this one — it’s Christmas Time in South Park.

The snotty and sarcastic adult animated series is widely heralded for it’s biting humor and we guarantee you that nothing in this Christmas release is sacred. Buyer beware.  

Christmas Time in South Park, runs 154 minutes and lists for $24.99 SRP. Amazon.com still lists it under the previous title, but is pre-selling it for $17.49 at the moment. This disc will have every Christmas-based episode from the show:

  • Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo
  • Merry Christmas, Charlie Manson
  • Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics
  • A Very Crappy Christmas
  • Red Sleigh Down
  • It’s Christmas in Canada
  • Woodland Critter Christmas

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